5 Musical Reasons Aliens Haven't Made Contact Yet
I could have made this easy on myself by pulling some random Black Eyed Peas songs from a hat, but no, I felt rather sadistic today. I scouted the internet for the cream of the crap. My ear drums suffered through some indian rock, french rap, redneck tracks and many more in order to find these abominations.
My apologies, I really wanted to turn this into a top ten list but I just couldn't get past these five travesties.
Here they are, the worst songs of all time.
5) O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei
Hopefully, the only song of the bunch you'll recognize (thanks "numa numa"). Now, let's get something straight here, the song is fun in a pop kind of way, but it's also retarded as hell. Why are there three men dancing on an airplane's wing? What's with the homoerotic connotations? And most importantly, why did this reach #1 in Germany?
4) Attack Attack!! - Stick Stickly
What starts off as an angst filled metal song quickly turns into something straight out of Dance Dance Revolution. According to Wikipedia, this is known as crabcore, yes.. crabcore. After 2 minutes and 45 seconds, the emo lead singer decides to turn a new leaf and switches to an exercise routine. Again, I'm not joking.
3) Cheeky Girls - Cheeky Song
What did I just watch? The Cheeky girls (presumably named Monica and Gabriela) went all out with the lyrics on this one: "Come and smile, don't be shy, touch my bum, this is life". I believe this is the music video that plays if you sign up for "Pole Dancing 101" courses. Annoying, stupid and not as sexy as it could have been. Fail.
2) b4-4 - Get Down
For this next song, i did a search for "douchebags singing in music videos" and "b4-4" turned up. At first I thought this was an elaborate parody by the YouTube community but it's real people! The only thing worse than the existence of scum like this is the fact that they we're nominated for a Juno. You know your band sucks when you lose out to Nickelback.
1) BrokenCyde - Freaxxx
BrokenCyde is such a terrible band that even Wikipedia refused to host their page: "Doesn't indicate importance or significance" for the longest time. Their song Freaxxx is best described as voice distortion meets verbal diarrhea. Your ears and brain will hate you for listening to this crap. It scares me to know that somewhere out there, there's a target audience for BrokenCyde.